Why Women Show No Interest In Nice Guys Even Though They All Claim To Want To Meet A Nice Guy

B. S.

Thank you, that is all.

i agree. i hate when guys spew this kind of shit at me.

I took it from a website, early in the morning. Tired of being single, and restless at the search engine, I somehow stumbled across THIS page... Full of BS, yes, I know, but it was a Journal Entry... Perhaps there was some quality information on the website if I scoured around. So I scoured, and I took from the site *just enough* to... well... to apparently get everyone pissed off at me. ;P

Not that it was my intended desire, but hey, negative feedback is still feedback. Sorry if it seemed I was "spewing"... Didn't mean to spew on you. =p

spazzychic:
>B. S.
>Thank you, that is all.

betsushi:
>i agree. i hate when guys spew this kind of shit at me.

Why are you so concerned over this "nice guy" thing anyways? Quit trying to be nice, then! But don't be a jerk. You can train yourself to react anyways you want, provided you practice :P. Nuff said.

Or better... don't come up with theories on what ALL women want. Some women don't even want MEN... women are just as differnt as men are. Some are nice, some are not. Some want assholes, some don't, and at least one wants you just the way you are.

So stop worrying about being what women want. Be yourself, and the right woman will show up on her own, and you can actually respect yourself.

Lastly, the assumption that women being mean to young guys make nice guys -- completely disagree. Not to mention the implication that women SHOULD continue to stomp on your collective egoes so that more nice guys will result.

I suppose so too :P. But I thought that this was more or les my reply to the last post about the same thing >:).

I recommend forgetting women altogether, and find out what it is you want BESIDES women. And you will meet women who respect you in the course of those activities (unless it's gaming, in which case it will be hard competition for the few women who play them ;P.)

So, the fact I'm a female gamer makes it just that much more sad that I don't do terribly well in relationships?

*wincesmile*

We are pretty much saying the same thing, I'm just coppin' a 'tude about it.

Response to thread

antayla:
>Why are you so concerned over this "nice guy" thing anyways?

It's a meme that I used to be a victim of. I wanted to figure out a little more about the topic in general; what people think, whom think about it. Is it not, after all, a reproductive biological instinct to desire a provider whom can protect and provide for the brood?

antayla:
>Quit trying to be nice, then! But don't be a jerk. You can train yourself to react anyways you want, provided you practice :P. Nuff said.

And this is what the website preached. Practice. "Women have been practicing since their teenage years" so saith the website in my paraphrasing memory "to deal with the men that ceaselessly approach them, to find what they deem quality attributes". They "developed a system to acquire the males they want", and so saith the site, "Males should develop a system to do the same. The problem is that males wouldn't know the first place to start. They're socially inept. Go out to nightclubs with their buddies, who'll all denounce and degrade eachother at every incremental failure" etc, etc.

spazzychic:
>Or better... don't come up with theories on what ALL women want.

Or don't post them to my LJ.

spazzychic:
>Some women don't even want MEN... women are just as differnt as men are.

"All men are pigs". How often do I hear that?

spazzychic:
>Some are nice, some are not. Some want assholes, some don't, and at least one wants you just the way you are.

Thank you. It's esteem building to hear that. There aren't many girls who'd tell me that in my lifetime.

spazzychic:
>So stop worrying about being what women want. Be yourself, and the right woman will show up on her own, and you can actually respect yourself.

Does it mean I shouldn't go shopping for new clothes? =p

spazzychic:
>Lastly, the assumption that women being mean to young guys make nice guys -- completely disagree. Not to mention the implication that women SHOULD continue to stomp on your collective egoes so that more nice guys will result.

Not if the nice guys that result would never get picked. But okay, I see your point. Yeah, the girls that mocked me in junior high and highschool were pretty mean. Betting and Daring eachother to pretend to ask me out. >.<

antayla:
>I recommend forgetting women altogether, and find out what it is you want BESIDES women.

Done that. I'm on my course. I wasn't whining. Just throwing out the idea, and seeing what other people thought of it. And I was away at work all day. =p

spazzychic:
>So, the fact I'm a female gamer makes it just that much more sad that I don't do terribly well in relationships?

Did you want me to post an article about female gamers? I bet I'd piss most of my male LJ friends off. xD

spazzychic:
>I'm just coppin' a 'tude about it.
That's probably my fault, for leaving the "attitude" in the article. But I was tired, and didn't wanna go ripping it totally apart.

Re: Response to thread

*nods*

Well said. By the way, you DO know that I ended up on your LJ because Ok Cupid said we were stupid compatable? *grins*

Anyway, yes, a post on gamer girls would be swell.

Gamer Girls...

Done =D

Aww, yeah! I do know that! Thanks for reminding me, though! Lets me know you haven't forgot. ;D

BBQ Saturday. And OLOTEAS too!

Re: Gamer Girls...

If I wasn't going to be in Portland, it would be grand. :/

"I'm not shooting for a sucessful relationship at this point. I'm just looking for something that will prevent me from throwing myself in front of a bus. I'm keeping my expectations very, very, low. Basically I'm just looking for a mammmal. That's my bottom line, and I'm really very flexible on that, too."
Lucille, in the movie "bye, bye, love"

Hehe! Nice quote! Flexible on "looking for a mammal" *rofl*

Contrary to other commenters, this entry made me smile. I'm not here to debate its being true or untrue, rather I'm commenting on its general amusement value. And amuse me, it did.

I have some male friends who wonder about the whole "why girls say they want a nice guy but never go out with him" bit. In fact, I remember one night in particular about said conversation. Odd thing is, two of the self-proclaimed "nice guys" (I wondered, who were they to dub themselves that anyhow?) are now in relationships. (Even more ironic, one of them DID like me {he told me this several times, in many ways}, and then he entered a relationship right about the time when I had finally started to return his feelings to a small extent. And then before that happened, I told the other "nice guy" I liked him. GO FIGURE. Maybe "nice guys" don't want "nice girls.")

Anyway, I'm sure you've read the "Ode to Nice Guys"? So often have I seen this essay pointed out and praised...anyway, I just have to say I appreciated your entry. It was something different. ^-^

(Apologies in advance if the above made absolutely no sense whatsoever. I was likely rambling.)

I propose a toast to nice girls, girl gamers, and anime fangirls around the world! You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as cute, funny, and intelligent, but still not getting the one you desire. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

I SEZ YAY!!!


*shifty eyes*

*GLOMP!* ♥

Premise 1: Steve is a nice guy.
Premise 2: Girls aren't dating him.
Conclusion: Girls don't date nice guys.

What else? Steve wears glasses. Girls must not like glasses. Steve has no piercings. They must only like piercings.

What is appealing about a jerk? He probably does many things she finds repellant.
Notably, someone who is controlling has control. Someone with a temper appears passionate.

And to a woman with low esteem, an insulting man is perceptive and reinforces her self image.

Re: o.o

I showed you a faulty syllogism.
Post Hoc Ergo Propter Hoc would be:
Girls found steve sexy after he ate pizza
thus
They find him sexy because he ate pizza

o.o

I was just submitting an idea about an ex-meme.
None of this Post Hoc Ergo Propter Hoc stuff.

Girls find Steve sexy. I won't argue with that.
But maybe Steve needs to change his topics of conversation. He hasn't had too much time in the arena to figure out what types of topics are ok for conversation.
mraness used to say "Are you even talking?"
irigatedhorizon and her friend Kate have a saying whenever I start talking about a topic... "We're not NERDS, Steve."

"In other words, your *character* changed to make it even less likely that you could successfully interact with women, and voila'... a "nerd" was born."

I'm not on the "Nice guy" track. I'm on the "What do I need to do to be ANY kind of guy" track! And if these people who are saying "You shouldn't be a nice guy because of this" have a better type of Guy for me to be, then I'm all for figuring out how to be a guy. Especially if they're saying "Don't be a pricky type guy" and "Don't be a guy that chicks won't date" both at the same time.

Conversation

See? I should be 90% in the moment, and 10% mystery... Mystery, intrigue, tall, dark, handsome! Thus is me!